Connected

I have to start this week by saying that I am proud of myself for giving myself grace so I would not miss an opportunity of connection just because I'm not happy with my physical appearance. This past weekend was my 20-year high school reunion. I had been anticipating this weekend all year with the plans to be about 30 pounds lighter by the time the day arrived. Despite a crash diet, a gym membership and a pricey trainer, I was not successful. I have been battling weight and self image all my life. An awkward stage and early puberty, caused me to become weight conscious at an early age. It eventually became an obsession. I began dieting at age 9 and tried every diet and fad in the book since then. Though fairly slim and athletic by middle school, the damage to my self image was done. I look back at my pictures and wonder "What the heck was I thinking? I was skinny!" But to myself, I never was thin enough and the dieting never ended.

Later, I found out I had medical issues that caused me to gain weight easily and have a hard time taking it off. As the years went by, and three kids came along, I haven't done so well with my battle. Truth be told, I need to eat sugar-free, low carb diet for the rest of my life and I haven't been able to make a 100% commitment to that lifestyle just yet. So as the date of my reunion neared, I had to make a decision. Stay home in hiding or be proud of everything else I have accomplished and seize the night!

A year ago, I would not have gone. But God has been working on me and this year, I went shopping for a nice outfit, put on my spanks and fully enjoyed the weekend. Sure, there were beautiful people who were as slim and trim as they were 20 years ago, just as there were beautiful people who had a little more cushion than back then. But to see the smiling faces with the sparkle in everyone's eye was priceless. To be reminded of the connection we all have was so worth it!

We share a connection that goes beyond keeping up on Facebook. We share a history.We helped each other become who we are today. Some of those people know parts of me better than perhaps even my husband! We share secrets, embarrassing moments, growing pains, heartbreaks, crazy moments and so many good times. The years may have passed, but our connection will never go away. I am so thankful to be reminded of that and to have had the courage to step out and truly have fun and tell those internal voices to take a hike for the weekend. What are your internal voices keeping you from doing? What do you have to lose?

Missed Opportunity for Grace on Grace Laced Monday

Recently, I am ashamed to say, I missed an opportunity to extend grace to my husband and to capitalize on a teachable moment for my preteen. It was like the Holy Spirit bonked me on the head and said, "See, what happened there? Love Me."

Here is what happened. We were traveling along the maze of highways in Atlanta discussing the best way to get somewhere. The Red Sox fan and I were in a disagreement on whether a road I suggested we take was before or after a major highway in the area. We established a bet and lunch was the reward.

The Red Sox fan's position was that the road was AFTER the highway and he began boasting and sending out much trash talk certain of his rightness. I was smugly smiling, letting him make a fool of himself because I KNEW the road was BEFORE the highway. Our daughter was eagerly engaged in our disagreement and anxious to see who was right.

The an unexpected thing happened. The exit to the highway came before the exit to the road but the actual physical road came before the actual physical highway. In other words, on a map the road would be before the highway, but in real life you had to exit for the highway before you passed the road. Who was right? Naturally, a fight ensued with each one of us still certain of our correctness. An embarrassing, name calling, "you're always right" fight ensued.

While I still believe I was right (after all, the road did physically come before the highway), I could have and should have extended grace to my husband and modeled graciousness for my daughter. If I had, we would not have raised our voices or called names or had hurt feelings and my daughter would have had a real example of how you don't always have to have the last word (even when you are right).

I must remember that it is more important to be in relationship that to be right!

Lesson learned