What do working moms and frogs have in common?

How do you boil a frog? If you put him in boiling water, he will jump out. But if you put him in a pot of water and then slowly turn up the gas, he will doze off until death. Well, being a working mom, is kind of like being that unknowing frog.

I have been a work out-of-the-home mom for almost 13 years. Except for work from home Fridays, and a brief period in which I worked in a virtual office, I have worked in a traditional office in the fast-paced field of public relations. I have been fairly successful, working at a nice firm that has great perks, got to travel to amazing places and serve clients who are making a difference in the world. At the same time, my precious family has grown and I have been involved at school, with Girl Scouts, advocating for my son and volunteering. It easy to think I have been doing all right. It's easy to be fooled. 

You see, as I had more babies, it got more difficult. Traffic has always been an issue, there have been times I traveled two hours each way to and from work, for many years it was at least one hour each way. When I moved to our current neighborhood, my commute was cut to 20-30 minutes each way. With this new found convenience, it was easy to fool myself into thinking I had it all together. That this "extra" time was put toward my family, but I still didn't make it home much before seven. My husband and I played tag team with house and kid responsibilities to juggle responsibilities at our two jobs.

I was missing my family, my life. We were just barely getting by and I didn't see it.

As a working mom I jumped into that pot of water. Each year, as I had more children, took on more responsibility at work, got involved at the school and in extracurriculars, the pot of water got warmer and warmer. I was unknowingly existing in a constant state of stress - boiling. Yet, somehow I was so used to it, it seemed normal. 

Sometimes, it takes being plucked out of the pot to fully realize all the stress that was bubbling up underneath you all along.

That is what happened to me. I was simmering in the pot and was given an opportunity to jump out. I'm beginning a new career as a work from home mom, an entrepreneur. I'm starting my own communications firm and I signed my first client today! 

Now I know working from home and launching my own business will bring its own stress, especially since I'm launching just as summer takes off. However, I've already had a glimpse at how being present and available can positively affect my whole family. It's an incredibly exciting road ahead that is God's design, not my plan. It came together unexpectedly and clearly with God's fingerprint all over it and I'm excited to be on this journey.

Being a mom, whether you stay at home, work from home or work out of the home, will always be a balancing act. Dear moms, don't let the stress lull you into such a numbness that you get boiled like the frog, listen to that still small voice that tells you there is another path, wake up and jump out so you can be all you were designed to be.  

How to Uncomplicate Your Life

Life is extremely complicated. Living out this life as a full-time working mom, wife, mother of three, daughter, volunteer, servant gets messy and I don't always do it well. It can so easily become unbalanced. Schedules get full, obligations (both real and made up in my mind) take over and I become overcome with anxiety. I lash out, I stress out, I gain weight, I stumble. I want to fill all my roles well. I am doing important things. Yet, I often find myself completely exhausted and I just need a pillow and some rest. However, it seems I just don't know how to do that. To stop. To rest. To just be.

Yet the solution is simple and it is uncomplicated.

Stovall Weems, pastor of Celebration Church in Jacksonville, Florida provides an approachable, easy to digest guide for applying the biblical principle of putting God first. 

I'm sure you are familiar with the verse Mathew 6:33 that tells us to seek first the kingdom of God. But how does that apply to your daily life? How does one seek God first?

In The God First Life - Uncomplicate Your Life God's Way, Weems explains how to change

our priorities to live out the life we were designed for.

The new priority of our lives is to truly put God first above our own desires, hopes, challenges and circumstances. It is a commitment to living your life God's way. Weems says, "The primary thing we should wish for, crave, diligently seek is God. And when this proper order is restored, the blessing is released into our lives." (28)

The God First Life outlines how to practically reorder your priorities every day to put God first and foremost. He aligns each principle with scripture and includes examples from the early church and believers of this age. Weems says God First living comes out of seven key decisions:

• I will make God's family (the Church) my primary family
• I will engage in the community life of the church
• I will be filled by the Spirit
• I will worship God on my own and with my church family
• I will spend time with God through prayer and His Word
• I will give of myself and my means
• I will experience freedom, joy and blessing that God offers

Weems goes on to unpack each of those decisions through vivid examples and practical application. He reminded me of how it felt to be a new believer totally in love with my savior. And he encouraged me to be engaged in a long-term commitment to total personal transformation (sanctification) for Christ. He point's out that God gave us the sculpting tools to enact this transformation - His Church, His Word, His Spirit, His presence, His son. 

Reading this book opened my eyes to the bland faith I have been living. Working each day for God's Kingdom at a Christian PR firm, it is easy to believe that I'm living for God but the reality is that He has not been a priority.  The busyness of my life, the life stage of my young ones, has put Him on the back burner. Though it will take some rearranging and dedication, I must reorder my life so that I am tapped into the One who can truly give me rest, and who has a plan for me. Plans to prosper me and not harm me. Plans to give me a hope and a future. 

His plan is better than my plan. 

Only one thing can hold me back - fear. Giving our trust to the Lord is a leap of faith. Living life is like being blindfolded and behind the wheel of a mini-van full of children. To make it through, we must trust that God has the map for our journey and completely rely on Him. step-by-step, to provide clear directions to our destination. If we try to steer on our own, we will surely crash. 

But perfect love casts out fear or put another way, "only an act of true love can thaw a frozen heart." Jesus's act of true love on the cross can cast out our fear and lack of trust. So, I choose to put on the spirit of power, love and sound mind, as well as that blindfold, and commit to anchor myself in Him who directs my path.

About The God First Life - Uncomplicate Your Life, God's Way
A simple and sustainable path to a deep and satisfying walk with Christ There are thousands of how-to books for improving various areas of life---self, relationships, finances, fitness, business, marriage, family. And there are nearly as many books written for believers offering a framework for the 'right' approach to a new life in God. What if it were possible, Pastor Stovall Weems asks,to boil it all down to one practical, un-complicated principle that would yield the vibrant, purposeful spiritual life so many are looking for? What if, in our relationship with God, we had one simple and sustainable touch point to experience a deep and satisfying walk with Christ? In The God-First Life, Weems shows that true success in our walk with God and in life in general is not an issue of need, but an issue of order. Brilliantly unpacking the simple Scripture in Matthew 6:33, Weems gives a fresh and practical perspective on what Christian 'discipleship' is about. Bringing clarity, depth, and simplicity, Pastor Weems makes clear core truths that have been misunderstood by many Christians and non-Christians alike.

About the Author
Stovall Weems is the founder and lead pastor of Celebration Church in Jacksonville, FL. Celebration is a global, diverse, growing multisite church, with more than twelve thousand people in weekly attendance. As a pastor, teacher, writer and sought-after conference speaker, his ministry focuses on building the local church, reaching people with the gospel, and developing passionate followers of Christ. Stovall and his wife, Kerri, have three children, Kaylan, Stovie, and Annabelle.

Disclosure of material connection: I received one or more of the products mentioned above for free in the hope that I would give it my fair review. I only recommend products or services I use personally and believe will be good for my readers. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission's 16 CFR, Part 255: "Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising."

2012 Resolution Keeping: Bible Reading Plan for 2012

On my previous post, I outlined a plan for keeping my resolutions in 2012. This is part two of a series that will track my plans and progress on keeping these goals. I'd love to hear from you on how you keep your resolutions. This week, I am focusing on have a daily devotion time and growing in God's word.

The Challenge: I seem to constantly be on the go, so to have a daily quiet time is often a struggle for me however, it is the most important time I can spend each day. Starting your day with God is so important that my company begins each week in a time of staff devotion. But setting aside this time for myself requires discipline and a plan of action.

Last year, I found a Bible reading plan online which provides a document with four, two-sided bookmark guides for reading through the Old Testament and New Testament in a year. The plan calls for two New Testament and two Old Testament readings each day. Well, last year I intended to laminate these bookmarks and begin, but the worksheet stayed in my daily action folder for weeks before I finally gave up.

The Plan: So this year, my plan was to get up early each morning and use these bookmarks to direct my Bible reading as I drank my morning coffee. I did well the first few days, but I struggled to get all four readings in before I had to turn my attention to getting three kids ready for school, two dogs cared for and myself off to work. If I missed a day, I felt pressured to "catch up" and read the previous day's readings as well as the present day readings the following morning. I realized that I was rushing through the readings instead of meditating on the Word and I might not be able to keep up with this set pace. So, I gave myself some slack.

The Revision: My Realistic Bible Reading Plan for 2012

Moving forward, I am going to focus on the Old Testament readings each day. I chose the Old Testament because I am reading The Story with my daughter, which begins in the OT. The Story is a concise, 31-chapter abridged chronology of the Bible, presented as one continuous story from beginning to end.They have versions for toddlers, young children, youth, teens and adults so it is a great family devotional experience.

By narrowing my focus, I have less a chance of feeling overwhelmed and will more likely stick to my goal.

I have made two copies of my bookmarks so that I can have them in my Bible at home and in my Bible at work. That way, if I miss a morning session, I can read during lunch at the office. In fact, I might just make a PDF of each bookmark to have on my iPhone so I can use my Bible Gateway App to read from my iPhone while on the go.

Hopefully, by setting realistic expectations, identifying a daily reading time (as well as back ups) and equipping myself with my reading plan in multiple locations, I will meet my goals but more importantly, I will grow in the knowledge of God's plan for us and increase my understanding of God's will and plan for my life.

Three Steps for Keeping Your Reslutions in 2012 - It's Not Too Late

As the New Year dawned, I made my list of resolutions like many others. I prefer to refer to them as goals. A natural goal setter, I like to know what I am aiming for. Sometimes I hit the mark, sometimes I don't. I like beginnings - the start of a new year or a new season - because they are a good and natural opportunity to take stock in where you are and where you are going and decide if that is really where you want to be. It is a time to reflect back, analyze the success, failures and surprises of the past, and make adjustments to your goals, plans and dreams. 

But goals are meaningless without a strategy for achieving them and a structure for accountability. It is great to have a goal to lose weight but I know from years of experience, if you don't have a detailed plan to accomplish that goal the first temptation is going to derail you before you even get started.

So, I'd like to share with you some ways I am being intentional about keeping my resolutions this year. Hopefully, they will help you accomplish your goals.

First, you have to identify your goals (as Yogi Berra says, “If you don’t know where you’re going, you might end up some place else.”)

• My goals for 2012

• To make home life as organized and peaceful as I can
• To better meet the needs of my husband and each of my children 
• To grow deeper in God's word with a daily devotion time
• Of course, to lose 20 pounds (My 20th High School reunion is in November, I have incentive)
• To build our emergency savings fund
• To have a monthly date night with my husband
• To try one new recipe per week
• To stay up-to-date with my 2012 Project Life 
• To learn to sew
• To have a weekly devotion time with my kids
• To do a minimum of 15 minutes of exercise a day
• To improve my photography skills
• To keep track of my car keys! (Those who know me well, understand this is a huge area of weakness for me)

Okay, so some might say I am an overachiever. 
 

Next, you need to have a plan in place for each goal.

Then you have to evaluate how you are doing along the way.

My next several posts will break out individual goals above and discuss my plan of attack as well as the accountability system I have set up to make sure I don't lose sight of these goals amidst the craziness of being a full-time working mom in a time intensive career with a long daily commute, taking care of three children (one with special needs) and volunteering as a Girl Scout leader and a member of the board of the Down syndrome Association of Atlanta. 

I will not be perfect and may have missteps along the way (like leaving my keys in the car and the car running in the parking deck for an entire day while I worked) and I'll share those with you. Maybe it will bring you a chuckle or you'll be able to apply something to your busy life.

Happy goal setting and Happy New Year!
 
 

Must-Have Items to Winterize Your Car

Time to Winterize!

Well, the halls are being decked and the mistletoe hung but don't forget your car!

With the weather getting colder, you'll want to add a few items to your must-have in your car list: 

 

1. Hats (for each family member)
2. Gloves (for each family member)
3. Scarfs (for each family member)
4. Boots or shoes (for each family member)
5. Coats or sweaters (for each family member)
6. Ice Scraper
7. Ear muffs
8. Air pressure gauge
9. Wind Shield Wipers (spare)
10. Bag of abrasive material such as sand, salt or non-clumping kitty litter, which can provide additional traction if a tire gets stuck in snow
11. A small shovel  
12. Your favorite holiday music (my favorite album is All I Want for Christmas is a Real Good Tan, by you guessed it - Kenny Chesney)

Top Must-Have Items for Your Car

Let's face it, as a mom you spend a lot of time in your car. Whether I am commuting or carting around kids, we spend a lot of time in the car. It is a challenge to keep it clean and organized. Over the years though, I have found you can save a lot of time and money by keeping a few key items on-hand in your car (though I wish I had chosen the mini van with the stow and go seats and floor panel storage compartments - sigh).

Top 20 Items To Have In Your Car at All Times:

1. Ponchos for everyone
2. Umbrella
3. First aid kit
4. Blanket(s)
5. Notepad & pencil/pen, coloring book and Crayola Twistable crayons
6. Notecards with envelopes, tape, scissors, tissue, bag (for last minute gift-giving)
7. Tissues, paper towels and wipes
8. Gallon size or larger zip lock bags
9. Sunglasses
10. Towel(s)
11. Spark plugs
12. Hair brush and pony tail holders
13. Change
14. Chargers for phones and other electronic devices including a USB adaptor
15. Cups with lids
16. Flashlights
17. Spare clothes for each child (don't forget shoes and socks)
18. Bottled water
19. Envelope with restaurant and other entertainment coupons
20. Bags (reusable grocery bags, plastic grocery bags for trash, one gallon-size bag and a foldable tote)
    

What are the must-have items that you keep in your vehicle? How do you store them and keep them organized?

A Remedy for A Dirty Task?

Testing Scrubbing Bubbles One Step Toilet Bowl Cleaner

I was recently selected to test Scrubbing Bubbles One Step Toilet Bowl Cleaner. No one likes to clean dirty toilets. This product allows you to clean every time you use the toilet by just stepping on a pedal and letting those cute scrubbing bubbles do all the dirty work - in theory. My daughter and I put it to the test (see video). 

The results? We give one thumb up and one thumb down. It certainly refreshed the toilet after use and was good for quickly cleaning messes. But the hard water line stain came back and could only be cleaned with a good old fashioned scrub brush. I noticed that that water line is a particular problem in this house and was not such a easily recurring issue in my previous house so it must be the water. But the box says this product could take care of those stains and they did not. I would recommend it for daily cleaning and upkeep, but you would still need to do a good cleaning at least once every two weeks. What good cleaning short cuts do you suggest? Please post your comments here.

Siri and Rememberthemilk.com Make Life Easier

People often ask me how I handle working full-time in a busy agency environment, commuting, actively mothering three kids and serving on a nonprofit board. Well, aside from a lot of prayer (and a little wine), technology plays a big role in keeping me organized and efficient.

The iPhone has been a game changer for me. There truly is an app for everything. My favorite task-oriented app has been Rememberthemilk. Accessible online, and on my iphone, I am able to keep track of my life and my many roles. I have lists for work, for my volunteer organizations, for networking, for scrapbooking goals, photography challenges and even for capturing ideas for a book I'd like to write.

Now my life tracking just got easier thanks to iPhone 4s and Siri. I can now use Siri to add items to Rememberthemilk. I simply speak into Siri and poof, my tasks are magically added! This is especially good because I usually get flooded with ideas or have 'to do' lists running through my head while I am commuting. Now I can safely capture those passing ideas while on-the-go.

Check out how to set it up here.

Ways Working Moms Connect with Kids

The company I work for represents DaySpring and its new line of recordable storybooks. The account team asked me to take the books home and use them with my kids. I had fun recording a special story for each of them, knowing that when I travel or have to work late, mommy can still read to them before bed. They two little ones really enjoyed hearing mommy's voice from the books. Take a look at this video of the storybooks in action. The last two kids are mine! How cute!

Top 20 Items to Pack For Business Travel

The following are some things I have found to be handy when traveling for business (or just about any occasion). If your job requires frequent travel, it would be efficient to keep your suitcase packed with many of these essentials so you are always ready to go!

1. A smart phone with a quick link to Delta for easy on-the-go flight changes (get ahead of those heading to the ticket counter when a flight is canceled)
2. A really good carry-on that fits under your seat (so you won't need to worry about overhead bin space)
3. Business cards and a holder to capture cards
4. Professional and comfortable travel shoes (such as foldable ballet slippers for a quick change of shoes)
5. Sunglasses
6. Umbrella
7. Light sweater or scarf/wrap for cold conference halls
8. Small purse that fits in your carry on for dinners out
9. Extra pair of contacts (Just in case)
10. Tums and Beano (you'll be eating new things)
11. Ibuprofen
12. Chargers for all electronic devices
13. Camera (capture your trip!)
14. Breath mints
15. Silk sleeping bag (have you seen those 20/20 hotel cleanliness specials?)
16. Sewing kit, including safety pins and fusable tape for on-the-go hemming
17. A lint roller
18. Extra creamer for morning coffee in your room
19. Travel pillow
20. Portable exercise bands (No excuse not to have a quick workout)

Guilt Free Philosophy for Exercise

I am a new recruit to a philosophy I call "fit it in" fitness. As a teenager I can recall spending hours devoted to fitness. I chose aerobics as my PE elective. After school I participated in sports year-round and I usually did an hour or two of aerobics at home in the evenings.

As a single, young adult I belonged to a gym, ran in the afternoons and played Ultimate Frisbee on the weekends. But now I am a mother of three (including a newborn and a two year old), a wife, a dog owner, a home COO and a public relations executive. I am too busy for a 45 minute workout let alone several hours of working out a day. However, after having had two children in two years, I really need to get back in shape and lose those prego pounds.

After months now of agonizing how I was going to fit in a fitness regime into my already hectic life, I had an "aha moment" and came to realize that "fitting it in" is really okay. It all adds up. I don't have to (and would be hard pressed to) block off hours of time to exercise. However, much like sneaking in a few BLTs (Bites, Licks, and Tastes) here or there can result in a lot of extra calories and pounds, sneaking in a few lunges here, a ten minute walk there, and 20 feet of bear crawls with my two year old in the den can add up to burned calories and better fitness.

Some of my  fit it in activities the past few days include:

• 500 steps to see how quickly I could do it (after watching Biggest Loser premiere) = 13:22
• 24 wide squats while drying hands in company bathroom
• 1 hour Zumba class with a neighbor 
• 15 minutes of morning yoga
• A walk through a charming mountain town
• 15 minutes on a stair stepper in my office 
• Sit ups and chair dips while watching a TV program

I still have a goal to get at least a good solid 30 minute workout 4-5 days a week, but if life's unexpected detours allow me to only fit it in as I can, I will give myself a break and even a pat on the back for taking a positive action. Now off to do lunges down the hall and refill my water glass!

What Not to Drink

In health and nutrition circles, people who drink a lot of sodas are in need of a beverage intervention. While Clinton and Stacy did not show up at my door (and I wish they would),  during this Lenten season I chose to abstain from soft drinks. I am also pregnant and I know there are better options for me to be drinking. We are a couple weeks in and I do say I miss my daily diet coke, but I have been trying other beverage options and have been pleasantly surprised.

I drink water all day from a large water bottle I keep at my desk. So, when I go out to a restaurant I like to have something with a a little taste and sometimes, I need a little kick too. So, I have been ordering sweet tea. Basically, having grown up in the South, you would think sweet tea would be no new thing. But I just never had a taste for it. Maybe being pregnant has changed that or my taste buds have grown up. But it really is pretty good. However, from a calorie-saving perpective, I still needed a better option.

For a refreshing, yet low cal, beverage option I have been trying Propel Powder Packets in citrus organge. These small, portable packets are perfect to add to my water bottle while in the car or at work. The taste is refreshing and the drink comes with added calcium and vitamins. I will definitely keep this on hand and am looking forward to trying other flavors. If you would like to try Propel Powder Packets - here is a link for a coupon http://coupons2.smartsource.com/smartsource/index.jsp?Link=Y5OTUPOYFBVRW

So, what are your favorite beverage options?  Have you given up sodas? Maybe it is time to trade in your current beverage wardrobe for some more stylish and healthy alternatives. Clinton and Stacy would approve.

No more nap?

I think my 15 month old is weaning herself of her afternoon nap. Say it isn't so! I have gotten a half hour most days this week when it used to be 2 hours. Today it lasted a whole 15 minutes. Arghhh!

To The Mountaintop

When Jesus was in the height of his ministry and thousands of people were clamoring to get a glimpse of him and listen to his wisdom, he retreated. He went away to the mountains to rest, reflect, pray and renew.

This week my favorite artist Kenny Chesney announced he would be taking a break from his usual whirlwind summer tour schedule in 2010. Overwhelmingly, most of his fans support this decision even though his concert experience is one we look forward to all year. For my husband and I, the concert is our one splurge together each year (as we are living on cash and pounding away our debt). It is our break to refresh, cut loose and have fun together. So we will greatly miss seeing Kenny in Atlanta next summer.

While I am not comparing  Kenny Chesney to Jesus in any way, if any artist deserves a break it is Kenny. He has been touring hard for nine years, earning entertainer of the year for the past several years. Well-deserved, I might add. He gives his fans all he has - like playing in a torrential downpour in Dallas earlier this year and then giving a free make-up concert to all those who had tickets to the rained-out show, and playing in Columbia, S.C. in 2008 after getting his foot caught in the hydraulic lift that gets him onstage in the opening song. He was in tremendous pain, but sucked it up and put on a fabulous show.

While, I don't have thousands of followers and fans desiring to get a glimpse of me, like most moms, I too need some time, however brief, to go to the mountaintop and rest, revive and relax. So this weekend, that is what I am doing. Taking time to explore my creativity, contemplate life and enjoy the stories of other women. I will return renewed and energized so that I can serve my family and my clients with new fervor and clarity.

Everyone deserves and needs some time to break away, get away to fill their tanks and renew. So this fall, I hope you find some time to retreat to your mountaintop.

Thankful

In June, my company decided to go virtual and thus a whole new world was opened up to me. Having been a commuter making a 2.5 hour voyage round trip each day, I now have a chunk of precious time back at my disposal. And I am thankful for every minute.

I am thankful I don't have to battle traffic every day and for the savings in gas. I am thankful for more time to concentrate on my work, instead of attending meeting after meeting and going down rabbit trail after rabbit trail (not that I don't create of few of those on my own). I am thankful I can work in my leggings and slippers if I so choose. I am thankful that as soon as my work day is done, my family time begins. I am thankful I can send my oldest off to school and be there to greet her when her bus returns. I am thankful that I can choose to bring my baby to daycare later if she seems extra tired and I want to ensure a good nap. I am especially thankful for the days when my baby is home with me and for the special moments we share as I feed her or play with her or rock her off to sleep.

Sure there are things I miss such as the alone time on the commute that enables me to transition between work and home and the social aspects of working in an office environment. But what I have gained is worth infinitely more! I have gained a chunk of time, a chunk of life  and for that I will be eternally grateful.

What would you do if you were suddenly given a couple more hours of time?