Super Woman Went Down: Mary, Martha and Super Woman Syndrome

What happened to 31 Days?

Superwoman Went Down

Luke 10:38-4238 As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. 39 She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what he said. 40 But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!” 41 “Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, 42 but few things are needed—or indeed only one.[a] Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.”

Last month I took on a challenge to write a blog post daily for 31 days. Having not set into a regular posting schedule for my blog, I felt this would be a good discipline. Since God has been really working on me lately on balance, priorities, self-worth--(Jennifer, Jennifer - you are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed—or indeed only one), I chose the theme 31 Days in the Life of a Superwoman Sufferer to help me unpack what the Holy Spirit has been telling me in my heart. I was coming along pretty, smoothly despite a packed October schedule. The practice of writing has helped me process a milestone time in my life. Admittedly, there were nights I was posting with one eye open at 11:55 p.m., but I was writing almost daily and that was good. 

And then I went to Allume, a three day conference for Christian woman bloggers, and I got sucked into a black whole of information overload, fatigue, piles left behind that needed sorted out and urgent calendar events, like Halloween.

I have so much to share about Allume (more about this later). This was my second year attending and it felt like part blogger conference/part blogger retreat. The sessions were meaty and creative and I came way from then longing to find time to just write. The schedule was jam-packed from sun up until way past sundown. I met some amazing women and enjoyed heartfelt conversations and learning from their talents. The keynotes and mealtime gatherings were times of praise, worship and encouragement. Although I enjoyed networking, being inspired and honing my craft, By Sunday, I was ready to head home and be with my family. The month of travel had taken its toll. 

I headed home with every intention of blogging, continuing my 31 Days challenge, setting up a writing space in my home, etc. Then life, "catching up" and an Allume hangover of great fatigue caused me to push down the spring of creativity that was welling up within and move into "get er' done" mode.

After arriving home from Allume, I immediately had to load my oldest up and head to Girl Scouts. In the week ahead we had a chili cook-off at work, the World Series (congratulations Red Sox), the Breeders Cup Classic and the Florida v Georgia game. The RedSox Fan would be heading out on Friday and Saturday for his sports utopia and I taxied the kids to tutoring, a birthday party and a Daisy troop meeting. Our house desperately needed a cleaning after October travel led us to neglect the homestead. And I began a 21 day detox of all sugars, grains, corn, soy, peanuts, eggs and dairy on the day after Halloween (glutton for punishment I know, but it is needed). So, I spent much of last week in a frenzied fog. 

As I was trying to equip the kids for Halloween fun, I was struck with the memory of my mom sewing costumes until the wee hours of the morning for me and my brothers. I was Strawberry Shortcake, Ronald McDonald, a panda bear and more. Many handmade by mom. We had so much fun dressing up. With my birthday a week prior, October was always a festive month.

I honestly have no idea how she did it! Well, no time for sewing for me. My oldest wanted to be Katness from Hunger Games so we scoured the GoodWill for green cargo pants and black boots the night before Halloween. Amazingly, my parents had a bow and arrow (not sure why, my dad was never a hunter). My sweet five year old changed her mind several times from fairy princess to Batman to a witch (thankfully we already had these costumes) and my youngest was an army man (GI Joe) for part of the day and a RedSox player for the rest. We got it all together just minutes before we headed out for Trick or Treating. 

So as I began this week, with a round trip road trip to Charlotte, my mind and body were screaming for rest and quiet and order. I'm still climbing out from fatigue, brain fog, detox, piles of emails and work projects and school fundraisers and activities for the kids. I'm figuring out how to balance it all and am three feet under water looking to when I will be able to tread water at the surface. Despite a full, blessed life, I come to the end of my own strength. Do I buck up and press through as Martha did? (as I typically do) or do I listen to the spirit within that calls me to become a Mary and rest in His presence?

That is in essence what it means to suffer from Superwomen syndrome. The misguided thinking that we can do it all, we can push through, we can do it on our own strength. We forget that the most important place to be is at the feet of Jesus. We cannot harvest a memorable life without Him.

So, I meditate on the following verse which reminds me, and admonishes me, to rest and become quiet to find the strength to move forward and salvation from the heavy yoke:

In repentance and rest is your salvation, in quietness and trust is your strength, but you would have none of it.  (Isaiah 30:15). 

Superwoman turns 40 and Admits Defeat

Day 24: 31 Days Superwoman turns 40

I have now lived 40 years. One year longer than my oldest brother did. He passed away shortly before his fortieth birthday with a wicked cancer. God called him home and in many ways used his illness to witness to hundreds of people. 

I know God is just beginning in my life. I know that but truthfully, I'm a mess. I am not where I wanted to be by this date. I had a three-year plan to be in the best shape--physically, spiritually, financially, mentally, relationally-- by the time I turned 40. And I'm on my way in some areas, but at the total opposite side of the spectrum in others. And as a result, I feel shame, guilt, embarrassment, like I have failed.

My biggest area of discouragement and disappointment, and in truth, bondage is food addiction and dieting addiction. This began when I was nine years old. It is deep. Ingrained. It has affected every area of my life and every relationship. I'm tired. I want to be free. I'm overweight and unhealthy. I want to be fit, healthy and confident. I'm obsessed. I no longer want food to have such a hold of my life. I am desperate. I have tried so many diets, systems, solutions. I want lasting change. I want success. I want to triumph. I cannot. Only Jesus, the one who conquered the universe, can take me out of this bondage. This is a spiritual issue with physical symptoms.

Lord, Lord, I am crying out. I need you to take these chains and release me. Show me areas that I have not released to you. Help me find true health and develop a healthy relationship with food and my body. Teach me. Lead me. Save me. I am spent. I am yours. Amen. 

Looking Forward to Allume 2013

Day 23: 31 Days challenge

Tomorrow, I leave for a three day blogger conference called Allume. It will be my second time attending and I'm really looking forward to the friendship, teaching and challenge I will experience over these next three days. Going back a second time, I have some sense of what to expect along with a deeper expectation of what I'd like to take away from it.

I know I'll be inspired, I'll meet amazing women, I will grow in my writing, I will be challenged, I will find great causes to support. These are just some of the things I am looking forward to about Allume. But let's not forget:

- The amazing welcome bag

- Swag

- Meeting, in real life, bloggers I follow

- Photography course

- The photo booth

- Really good coffee

- Pj party

- Making new connections

- Inspiration and encouragement

- Knowing god is present and smiling down on us

I am very thankful I get to spend my 40th birthday among so many amazing women in such an inspiring place.

Detoxing

Day 22: 31 Day Writing Challenge

Making changes for a healthier lifestyle takes perseverance, discipline, a positive outlook. 

I have had many stops and starts and yet I press on so that I can fully participate in my kids lives.

I have been doing a lot of research into clean eating. I know sugar is a big issue for me and it seems dairy and gluten could be too. 

I know when I have been successful in the past, I had very little of either. I also had given up Diet Coke. So, since it is so important to get artificial sweeteners out of my diet, I'm giving up diet coke and all soft drinks as of Monday, Oct. 28. For good. I am also abstaining from drinking anything but water, coffee and tea until Thanksgiving week starting Nov. 1.

I am doing the Virgin Diet, which is really a 21 day detox versus an actual diet. The premise is that there are seven foods that have the highest levels of intolerance: sugar and artificial sweeteners, soy, corn, dairy, peanuts, grains/gluten and eggs. Ditch these for three weeks and then add one back per week (except for sugars and fake sweeteners) to see which cause symptoms. Many lose weight during these three weeks as well. In the meantime, you are eating fruits, vegetables, nuts (except peanuts), legumes, healthy fats, lean protein. It is a transition into whole, clean eating.

I hope this little pre-holiday detox will help me see what my food triggers are. I also hope to find new, clean eating recipes to share! I know I must find a new, meal plan I can follow for life, but this detox should help me see what items I may need to leave out of that menu. 

Wish me luck! 

Survival Mon-Thurs

Day 21: 31 Day Challlenge

Some time ago, a friend and I were discussing how we get it all done. She had paid me a compliment saying, "I'm just amazed at how you do all that you do." And I confessed, "Girl, Mon. - Thurs. it is all about survival in our house."

Take tonight, I hit home just after six and my husband was on an errand so I started dinner and then went up to change. The littles were playing nicely in sister's room but after I greeted them, they came downstairs and the barrage of requests began. "Mom, come color with me." "Mom, some?" "Mom can I have money for x,y, z?" "I'm thirsty!" "She hit me!" "Mom!"

So quickly chaos decended. While waiting for dinner, we worked on vocabulary and flash cards and discussed Halloween costumes. After dinner, the Red Sox fan took the dog outside for a bath as I took the littles up to the shower and our oldest began homework. On the way to the shower my guy peed twice on the floor. Later, after the littles were fast asleep and I was heading upstairs for bed, I found my guy sleeping naked and my oldest tucked into our bed.

Lunches aren't made yet and the alarm will ring in six hours to start all over again.

Tonight, I have thought more than once that there must be a better way to get it all done- the regular housework and menu planning/cooking, kids activities, discipleship, learning time, therapy, home remodeling, self care.

Every minute is a choice of priority and efficiency, like not to attend the HOA and scout council meetings this week for more kid time.

The Lord did not mean for us to just survive. He wants us to thrive. Not to be superwoman, but to trust the only truly super hero - Jesus. Learning to lean into that trust, be accessible for the Holy Spirit to work in our lives, and deny my need to join everything or have everything planned out is a lifelong journey. So how do I do all that I do manage to do? By the grace of God. 

Even Superwoman Needs to Rest

Day 18: 31 Days

Today was a beautiful day to travel to a nearby lake for my company's annual retreat. It's a special weekend of rest, fellowship and reflection. After a delicious lunch and some company story sharing, I headed into town to do some shopping with two colleagues. We saw this pretty driftwood tree, which I'd love for my porch.

Later, I checked in and found a nice surprise on my bed. Goodies! Next, I got in my workout gear and headed outdoors for some exercise. What a view!

After a lovely day, we gathered for worship and reflection. One of our worship songs really summed up the journey I've been on the past few years and how God's love has never failed.

Here are the lyrics:

Nothing can separate 

Even if I ran away

Your love never fails

I know I still make mistakes

But you have new mercies for me everyday

Your love never fails 

Chorus:

You stay the same through the ages

Your love never changes

There may be pains in the night but joy comes in the morning

And when the oceans rage

I don't have to be afraid

Because I know that You love me

Your love never fails

The wind is strong and the waters deep

But I'm not alone here in these open seas

Cause Your love never fails

The chasm is far too wide

I never thought I'd reach the other side

But Your love never fails

You make all things work together for my good.

Amen

On Retreat

Day 17: 31 Days Six minutes to go

I only have in minutes to get today's post in. I am heading on my company retreat tomorrow and have been busy getting packed, snacks prepared and the kids ready for a visit with Grammy & Pop. 

I'm looking forward to getting my nails done, walking the grounds, working out, the hot tub, games with colleagues, watching the Bulldogs, good food, meaningful conversation, time to read and maybe a bubble bath. It truly is a treat we all look forward to each Fall. 

I know I'm blessed to work at a place that feels like family and treats us with such regard. 

What does relax mean to you? Where do you like to retreat? 

Super Stress Reducers

Day 16: 31 Day Challenge: Super Stress Reducers

The past eight years have been what I call the stress years. We have seen many of the stressors that are said to lead to depression, divorce, etc. We have gone through lay-offs, new jobs, unemployment and financial loss, loss of my brother, loss of my husband's mom, loss of our dog of 12 years, two moves, a miscarriage and two births, a diagnosis of Down syndrome and other personal struggles.

We've managed to keep going for two reasons. Both my husband and I have a certain amount of sticktoativeness. When adrenaline hits, we seem to have more fight than flight. A roll up the sleeves, get 'er done attitude. 

The second reason is faith and God's grace. God provided time and time again, in found income, a caring friend, a new opportunity, a flexible workplace, a sense of hope, a fairy Godmother.

But as we seem to be entering a more stable period in our lives, I realize how much the stress has taken its toll. I believe all that stress is a big reason why the weight seems to cling to me. Cortisol, the stess hormone, has set up shop. Paired with insulin resistance and I'm really the underdog in this battle. 

Lately,  God has been speaking to me. I believe he is saying, "I've carried you through, now you need to rest in me."

Resting is something I don't do well. I'm a "doer" even my ideas for restful activities involve me doing something. 

Lately, in the verses I study, the books I read, the talks I listen too, I'm being encouraged to slow down, cut back, revive. If I want to harvest a memorable life for me and my family, I need to listen. When I am stressed out and overweight it is hard to live a memorable life. You live on the sidelines making comparisons, listing the "should haves," feeling less than, trying to measure up. I don't want that. 

So how do I rest, and reduce that Cortisol supply in my brain? Here are some of my stress reducers:

Play with the kids

Dance

Work in the yard

Workout

Yoga

Read

Journal

Self spa treatments

Photography

Scrapbook

Create

Cook

Prayer

Take a walk

Play a game

This weekend, I am going on my company retreat with my husband to a nice resort. We will have lots of free time. We plan to rest and do some of activities listed above. I have also promised not to add anything else on our calendar for the rest of the year (beyond what I already anticipate). I'll continue to work in more of the activities I've listed into my schedule and most importantly to listen to what God is trying to tell me and follow where he leads. 

He lets me rest in grassy meadows; he leads me to restful waters; (Psalms 23:2 CEB)

What are your super stress relievers? 

Super woman's Kryptonite

Day 15: 31 Days - Super woman's Kryptonite

Without a doubt my biggest struggle is my weight. A dieter since I was nine, I have tried just about every diet in the book healthy or not. I have always been one to look at food and gain five pounds. I hit puberty early and never got over feeling like the girl in that awkward stage.

In high school and college I was thin, athletic and a good weight (though I did not think so at the time). But I fought for it.  I was always tracking what I ate and exercising consistently. Controlling my weight was more difficult after I had my first child and darn near impossible after my last two. I gained sixty-five pounds during my third pregnancy (my second pregnancy ended up with a miscarriage) and am still trying to take off much of that. 

Along the way, I found out I have polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS), a condition that causes cysts to form on your ovaries, messes with your hormones and includes infertility issues (the reason it took 7 years to birth my second baby), hair growth, high testosterone, and insulin resistance, to name a few. It means my body relentlessly craves sugar, like an addict, but is incredibly resourceful at turning sugar to stubborn, hard to get rid of fat.

I told myself three years ago that I'd be in the best shape of my life by the time I'm forty. That milestone comes next week and I have failed. I feel like crap. I'm discouraged, deflated, desperate for an answer. Over the past three years, I have tried everything: trainer, nutritionist, endocrinologist, mayo clinic diet, HCG diet, Weight Watchers, skinny fiber pills, couch to 5 k program, no carb, lo carb, balanced carb. I just can't seem to get the needle even moving. I don't have the money to invest in any more schemes or fixes. Nevertheless, I have a chiropractic appointment and a recommendation for a homeopathic doctor coming up next.

All of this dieting, starting and stopping, yet another "last meal" before embarking on a strict diet plan only to stall out after I see no results has left me heavier and more out of shape than ever in my life. 

This weekend, I go on my company retreat to a nice resort with the promise of decadent food choices.  I'm so worried about the choices I'll have to make. I need strength to choose a healthier path. Last month, I had a business trip to Austin and came back with five more pounds on my 5'1" frame. I cannot afford to gain ANY more weight. So, I cannot go into this weekend blind. My plan is to exercise 1.5 to 2 hours each day, drink a ton of water and to get my husband to make my plate in buffet situations.

I pray God directs my steps. I have no idea which plan to choose or what path to take. I so much want to see results. I want to stop the insanity and live, but live free from this extra weight that is not healthy and causes other symptoms of PCOS. If you have any suggestions, I'd love to hear them. 

Finding time for fitness

Day 14: 31 Days - Finding time for fitness

So, I did it. I caved in and re-joined the health club in my office building. I have been a member twice before. It is pricey in my opinion, especially since I can only go three, sometimes four times per week (we have a company brown bag lunch learning time we are required to be at on most Wednesdays during lunch). However, trying to fit exercise in on a consistent basis is extremely difficult. The only times I can consistently exercise are 5:30 a.m. and during the lunch hour. My mind and body are usually not awake enough to put in a good workout that early in the morning.

Going at lunch helps me have a healthier lifestyle in several ways. First, it gets me away from my desk. I often eat both breakfast and lunch at my desk and plow through the day. This way I get up and move and get my heart pumping. It also will help me to have more focus for the latter part of the day. Next, it will pump up my metabolism. (I can use all the help I can get here). Finally, regular exercise will help me reduce stress. (I believe excess cortisol is a factor in the difficulty I have in losing weight).

Previously, I was able to be pretty consistent in my workouts. So I am hopeful that I can find my groove again. A balance between working out at the gym, walking/running, fitting in my favorite dance workouts at home and yoga should help get me where I want to go.

Nevertheless, exercise is only 20 percent of the solution. Diet is 80 percent and the part I struggle with most. I'll write about that another day.

Quote of the Day

“Have patience with all things, but chiefly have patience with yourself. Do not lose courage in considering you own imperfections but instantly set about remedying them – every day begin the task anew.”
-St. Francis de Sales…

How do you fit exercise in?

A trip to Colorado brings some Super-sized perspective

Day 12: 31 Days: Super Perspective

Scenes from my trip to Colorado Springs and Denver. It was a good trip but I am so happy to be home.

God's amazing creation. The Rocky Mountains are so majestic. Here, I'm not too far from Pikes Peak. God can move mountains. What mountains do you need Him to move in your life?

Wednesday morning, Passages hosted a pastors and teacher appreciation breakfast and several scholars were there talking about the collection as well as how we can be confident in the accuracy of today's scriptures. It is truly amazing how the Bible has survived throughout time and remains the same now, today and forever. Later, I spoke at a luncheon with media and local communicators. 

Back at the Hilton Antlers Inn that evening, I enjoyed a bison burger and sweet potatoe chips compliments of two 1968 Olympians who were reuniting and whom I helped get a picture in front of the Olympic flag. Olympic and Paralympic athletes were at the hotel for a conference. I kept watch out for Apollo Uno. I admire the fortitude and strength these athletes must have to reach their goals. Do I take my challenges on with as much dedication? What in your life needs Olympic-size determination?

The next day, I had some local Chili before trying to beat the front coming in as I head to Denver. It took forever with traffic thru the city some 5mph at many times. (I thought I left Atlanta!)

After picking up my client from the airport, we headed to the Trinity Broadcasting Network for a taping of Praise The Lord. It was an interesting experience being part of the studio audience.

This was a good trip overall, with time to ponder questions about priorities, time and faith while enjoying the majesty of the mountains.

Superwoman's Truly Super Kid

 Day 9 of 31 Days

Today, I am honoring Down syndrome awareness month with a video developed by the Down Syndrome Association of Atlanta, of which I serve on the board. The purpose of this video is to highlight all the great things people with Down syndrome can do and to show that their wants, needs, hopes, interests, passions are the same as everyone else. My little guy is shown and I am so very proud of him.



With each passing month, I love seeing what new things my guy can do. We love cheering him on. You can join me by supporting our team Sheran Stars at the 2013 Buddy Walk Atlanta. Here is a link to my team page, we would appreciate your donation.

Superwoman Goes to Colorado

Day 8 of 31 Days: Superwoman Goes to Colorado

October 8, 2013 - I'm headed out of town to speak to a group of evangelical press about the great work one of my clients is doing. 

Planning for business travel is a challenge to be fully prepared professionally and make sure everything is handled at home. This is a longer trip. With my husband now working part-time, I'm thankful my folks live nearby and can help with my children's extra-curricular activities. 

To prepare for being away I have premade meals, confirmed drop offs and pick ups, and made sure school and dance uniforms are ready. 

To stay connected while away, the little ones can read through an audio book that I have pre-recorded for bedtime and I can FaceTime in with checking at the end of the day. I love technology.

I have been a full time working mom for 12 years. Since that time, I have also had the benefit of somewhat flexible schedules and work from home days at least once a week. At some organizations I was even able to bring a child to work with me from time to time. My oldest spent many summer days with me at the office; and my youngest was able to spend eight weeks with me at one workplace when I returned from maternity leave. This has made a huge difference. 

There is still mommy guilt when I have to work late or have a heavy travel schedule. But I know God has led me to this fabulous career where I get to work with amazing organizations impacting the world for Christ.

I also know I need to be diligent to keep my life in balance. I guess I'm working through that now. I'm a little out of balance (hence the topic of this series) and am trying to figure out what to let go of. I am called to be a wife, mother and to work outside the home. I'm at a place where I need to also put energy and focus on getting to a more healthy lifestyle, weight and reduce stress. So that means other things need to take a back burner. A tough decision, especially for someone who likes to be involved in a lot of things.

Do you work outside the home? What are your techniques to find balance? How do you prioritize?

Superwoman Scores on Dinner

Day 7 of 31 Days: Superwoman Scores on Dinner

Yesterday, I got a head start on our week by making some meals ahead of time. I am actually traveling three nights this week and wanted to help out my husband. I made chicken enchiladas, chicken soup, turkey chili and Tilapia. Tonight we had the chicken enchiladas. It was the first time I made them and they were delicious! I got rave reviews from my husband and the girls and the little, more picky eater ate it all up! Next time I think I will use lite sour cream to reduce the calories and might make half in whole wheat tortillas. My daughter said this whole dinner is delicious (chicken enchiladas, spinach and broccoli) - I think that is a win! Recipe here.

Superwoman and the Daisies

Day 6 of 31 Days: Superwoman and the Daisies

After quite a late night with the slumber party, I  could have stayed home and relaxed, but instead I cleaned up after the party, cooked several advance meals for the week ahead (hard boiled eggs, chili,  chicken enchiladas and chicken soup), washed and put away laundry and led our first Daisy Girl Scout meeting.

With all we have going on, leading another Girl Scout troop was the last thing on my mind. Then, at an organizational meeting, we were basically told we had like six-eight quality years left with our daughters. Knowing I had given the time for six years leading my oldest's troop, I felt my hand going up to volunteer gain. I met a new friend who will be co-leading with me and am actually pretty excited about doing it again, now that I know the ropes a bit.

So, this afternoon, we held our first meeting. It went much smoother this second time around. As we gathered at the local park, the girls colored Daisy petal coloring pages and made their own name tags.

During our circle time, we learned why Juliett Gordon Lowe was called "Daisy," talked bout our own nicknames, learned the Silver and Gold song, did a nature scavenger hunt and had a snack. The girls had a lot of fun; it was so fun seeing their cute little faces sharing about themselves. It was sweet knowing I'd get to watch them grow to be young ladies. As we were walking to our car after the meeting C. tells me "you're a good leader mommy." Whew, I did okay! That was so worth the fact the I was bone tired by the time we got home. This will be good. This is the good stuff.

Superwomen Goes to Mass: Ten Tips for Bringing Your Child to Church

Day 4 of 31 Days in the Life of A Superwomen Sufferer

Superwomen Goes to Mass

I recently saw a clip from the upcoming film Mom's Night Out. In it, the mom is faced with getting her crew, and herself, presentable and to church. It is quite comical and somewhat true to my life. With three children, two under the age of six, going to Mass is an event to say the least.

My Protestant friends have what they call children's church, where parent's can drop off their children, get a beeper like the ones you get at restaurants, and head off to a peaceful hour of worship and liturgy. Not so at Catholic Mass, for it is the duty of every Catholic to support the mission of the family to raise godly children. We go to Mass as a family to worship together, receive God's grace and unify with christ and our Catholic brothers and sisters through the sacrament of the Eucharist.  

It is often difficult to get kids to sit quietly and pay attention, but I believe we are doing them more service to train them proper behavior at church from an early age and engage them in the community of believers worshipping together than we are to put them in a nursery. Nevertheless, it takes a lot of effort to "train our kids in the way they should go" at church.

For instance, on any given Sunday you will find my family in a pew. My youngest loudly enjoying the music, my oldest mortified at the attention her younger brother brings, and my middle child trying to keep my youngest entertained or asking me questions about the service. With a little preparation, we make it through okay and we may even catch a little bit of the sermon. 

We try to make sure they have had a snack before church so they are not hungry and we usually bring a bag of Cheerios, just in case. We also bring a toy or small stuffed animal or a plush nativity set they can play with. 

Recently, I was given this new children's book Rufus and Ryan Go to Church,  by Kathleen Long Bostrom. In the book, four-year-old Ryan explains to his stuffed Monkey, what is happening as they attend church on Sunday morning. He lets Rufus know when its time to sing, pray and be quiet. Part of a new series of  inspirational books for preschoolers age two to five, featuring Ryan and Rufus. This series uses Christian and church concepts as the foundation of the series and focuses on character traits and development. My little ones really enjoy the fun illustrations and ask to read it often.

Rufus and Ryan Go to Church! 

Written by: Kathleen Long Bostrom 

Illustrated by: Rebecca Thornburgh

Publisher: Ideals Books

Board book

$7.99

Available at IdealsBooks.com

Here are Ten tips for Bringing Your Child to Church

1.         Make sure the kids are well-napped and well-fed.

To help minimize distractions and meltdowns, be sure your kids are well-rested before services and have had something to eat. Additionally, you may want to show up a little early to avoid the stress of being late.

2.         Bring your child to church on a day other than Sunday morning.

Call the church office and make an appointment with a pastor, religious education director, or church school teacher. Go on a tour of the church facility, and locate the Sunday school rooms and bathrooms as well as the sanctuary. Let your child explore the sanctuary, see how it feels to sit in the pew, and leaf through the Bibles and hymnbooks. Look behind the pulpit, altar and baptismal font, and explain the use of these.

3.         Take home a worship bulletin and go through the service at home.

Show your child that there are times to sit, to stand. kneel, to sing, to pray, and to listen. Help your child learn the Lord’s Prayer.  Let your child practice offering the sign of peace or making the sign of the cross at home. Prepare offering envelopes and let your child put money in the envelope, and explain why the offering is important.

4.         Play “Let’s go to church” at home.

Practicing the worship service at home will help your child feel more comfortable with what happens in worship.

5.         Read the Bible and pray at home.

Purchase an age-appropriate Bible for your child and read the stories. Let your child handle the Bible and encourage questions. You can explain that the Bible is where we learn God’s story, and how we are part of that story. If you let prayer be a part of your everyday life, not just something you do at church, your child will understand its importance.

6.         Sit near an aisle or in a place where you can make an exit if needed.

If your child needs to go to the bathroom, or is feeling overly stimulated or having a disruptive day, don’t be embarrassed. Walk your child out of the sanctuary until she can calm down, and then come back in. This is much easier if you don’t have to crawl across a row of other people in the pew!

           

7.         Be prepared with a worship notebook or bag.

Colored pencils can be used to mark the parts of worship in the bulletin as you go through them one by one. Get to church a few minutes in advance and use a bookmark to mark the hymns that will be sung that day. Have some coloring pages from a Bible coloring book for your child to color, or some blank pages for doodling. This is not disrespectful, and can help your child listen more attentively. Have the words of the Lord’s Prayer printed on a page for the child to follow, if he or she is of reading age. Let your child draw a picture of the anthem or hymns being sung, or the sermon, and give this to the choir director or pastor afterwards. There are Bible-related toys they can bring to play along with the service. They have some great inspirational items and plush toys at Wee Believers.

8.         Teach basic church etiquette.

Speak to people before and after worship, and teach your child how to shake hands and greet others.  If your child is shy, don’t force it, but practice at home and let your child see you greeting others. Let the child put the hymnbook and Bible away after use, and be sure to take your bulletin with you, rather than leaving it in the pew. Meeting other people and taking care of the church facility helps a child feel that “This is my church!”

9.         Get to know the pastor.

Pastors of child-friendly churches love to get to know the children of the church. Introduce your child to the pastor after worship, and participate in other church activities so that the pastor becomes a friend and not a scary adult.

10.       Don’t give up!

It may take awhile for your child to become comfortable in worship, and to learn how to sit quietly. The best way for this to happen is to attend worship on a regular basis. There may be days when it doesn’t go well, but don’t let this stop you from coming the following week. Practice makes perfect!

Share your tips for attending services with your children in the comments below and find more useful tips here:

http://catholicexchange.com/contraceptive-sanctuary-bring-your-baby-to-church/
http://www.foryourmarriage.org/how-to-take-young-children-to-mass/

Day 3: Superwomen Battles Mommy Guilt

Day 3 of 31 Days in the Life of A Superwomen Sufferer

Tuesday, October 1 kicked off Down syndrome awareness month. I'm pretty involved in advocating for my son and others who have Down syndrome, which is the presence of a third copy of the 21st chromosome. In doing so, I serve on the Down Syndrome Association of Atlanta board and mange it's online properties/content. So this week I needed to update the website, schedule posts, respond to posts, pitch local media on our Buddy Walk and secure more donations for my team.

Mix in a client crisis, recovery from travel, prep for upcoming travel, the launch of my daughter's Daisy Girl Scout program and you have the perfect scenario for supermom guilt and a dose of anxiety.

I got home after the kids had already had their supper and knew I would not have much one-on-one time with them before bedtime. My oldest put my little guy to bed and I was sad that I would miss that special time with him. As I went up to put my 5 year old to bed (who was diligently playing with little people on her bedroom floor), I could not resist peeking in on my son. His sister had left his closet light on and it illuminated his room. Needless to say, he had not yet settled down. So I scooped him up, grabbed his blanket and settled down in the rocking chair for some bedtime cuddles.

As I held him close a deep sense of peace began to wash over me. Raising this little guy brings me so much joy. I truly find it a privelege that God chose us to care for this sweet, sweet child. And I desire for him to have every opportunity we can offer. Along with that desire comes worry. I wonder if we are doing enough to help that little mind grow and develop as best it can. He is in special needs pre-K and has speech  and literacy training once a week. Should we be doing more? Should we get private PT, OT and ST in addition to what he gets at school? Are we doing enough at home to help teach language, words and reading. social skills and physical skills like jumping and balance? I worry if we are paying too much attention to his immediate needs, that we might miss the less obvious but just as important developmental, spiritual and emotional needs of our two daughters. I worry, I pray, I trust God to lead us. 

Yet, all those worries go away when I can sit and rock my guy as he melts in my arms cradling me back. I soak in the feel of his soft skin and kiss his head and he pulls back and signs "I love you" and my heart melts.

It is so worth it.